Insensible to Fear as Anybody here…

Yes, I know, my dear – it’s rather a silly title, but at the present time I can’t think of anything better, so it will need to remain – unless of course, you can do better?  Feel free – it’s not easy trying to come up with a catchy heading every couple of days.  What did you mumble?  OK, you may not think that they’re catchy, but don’t forget that I am rather more wise (hmm – well maybe!) and definitely several decades older than you!

Right then, shall we try again – perhaps both of us will be in a slightly better frame of mind.  How are you and your gorgeous family today?  Are the children behaving themselves?   It will be lovely to see them all again when I return home. 

I’ve been a tad worried over the past couple of days.  I know that I may be rather silly, but I’m very concerned about the goings on at Lavinia Court.  Apparently a senior police officer has spoken to someone at Head Office, who has indicated that the work in the communal areas will be completed on time!  When that is, nobody seems to know!  The person they spoke to – apparently one of their legal team, has suggested that I’m exaggerating the seriousness of the events.   According to the “spokesman” or do you have to say “spokesperson” nowadays, there haven’t been any major incidents about which the residents need to concern themselves.  Apparently the deaths of Gordon, Peter and his sister were simply unfortunate accidents (according to the guy from Head Office).  They say that Gordon mustn’t have washed out the decanter properly and that there was a small residue of bleach which may have killed them.  How on earth do they come up with this rubbish.  Teddy has contacted me again today, and told me that the police officer has informed the solicitor at Head Office that he is completely wrong in his assumption.  The solicitor was told, in no uncertain terms, that the residents need to have better security and there have been several crimes perpetrated in and around Lavinia Court which require further investigation. 

I believe that the conversation didn’t end as amicably as it started which was rather unfortunate.  However, the police officers now understand why I often feel that Head Office personnel aren’t as helpful as they should be.   There isn’t anything I can do to change things, and it means that the residents are in a vulnerable position at present.

I’m absolutely certain that many of the residents aren’t aware that anything has been going on.  To be honest there are many of them who are in their eighties and a couple (at least) who are in their ninth decade.  Those folk who live on the ground and first floors don’t have any reason to come up to the second floor which is where all of the action – for want of a better word – has taken place.  Yes, my dear, I understand that they may have friends who live on the second floor, but even so, people tend to gravitate downstairs rather than up!  I know that many folk will have heard bits and pieces but to be honest, if it doesn’t actually affect you, it’s easy to ignore or forget it, particularly when you are older.  Look at me, I’m always forgetting things – you know how I lose my train of thoughts really easily, and wander onto another topic without a second thought.

Photo by Jonathan Petersson on

While we’re having this little chat, I’ll just let you know what we’ve been doing.  The weather has been rather changeable, so we haven’t been out for many walks down to the loch.  It is lovely to be down there, but there has been rather a lot of rain, and it’s been quite windy too, so we both prefer to remain in the warmth of our wonderful cabin.   It really does feel like home – although it doesn’t have all the clutter, which is great.

Mrs. M is attempting to restart her knitting again.  I haven’t asked her what she is making because I don’t want to tempt fate!  I’ve suggested that she counts the number of stitches as she goes round to make sure it is the same number each time.  It also means that she doesn’t interrupt me quite as often – if she is counting and then starts a conversation she completely loses track of where she is up to – which doesn’t bode well for me! 

I’ve noticed that she’s had quite a few text messages in the past couple of days.  They are probably from her sister who lives on the Isle of Islay or possibly, Bertie her brother who is in Edinburgh.  Having said that, Mrs. M does seem slightly distracted – even more so than normal.  She’s always been rather ditsy, but this seems a little different.  I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.  She’ll tell me if and when she’s ready.

While I’m still thinking about it, I should let you know that there have been more phone calls to my flat.  Unfortunately the caller seems to hang up after it has only rung three or four times.  Georgie has been there on a few occasions and she has rushed to the phone to try to speak to whoever is there but she hasn’t managed it yet. Although I had previously told her to ignore it if it rang, we changed our minds and decided that it may be worth trying to answer it. We thought that the caller may actually say something which could assist us in one way or another.  We’re not sure whether the note writer thinks I’m still at the flat or if he/she knows that I am away.

The interesting thing is that he hasn’t tried ringing my mobile number.  I don’t know why – perhaps he doesn’t know it but I would have thought he may have been able to obtain it from someone.  Although there still isn’t a permanent manager on site, the office door is sometimes open so residents can leave messages, and of course there are several folk who have my mobile number.   As there are so many people wandering around the building, no-one takes any notice of someone being in the office – or anywhere else!  Anyway I suppose I should be grateful that he hasn’t rung me here – that would be another thing which would upset me.

Right my dear, I’ve wittered on for far too long again.  I do hope you will excuse me for that – and we’ll speak again in a couple of days. We have decided to make a shopping list today, ring the order through, and the local store will deliver tomorrow morning.  We still have some items in but we would like some more vegetables and a small loaf.  The trouble is that once you start thinking of things it’s too easy to get carried away.  Oh, yes some frozen fruit would be lovely to make a crumble.  We already have some of the topping in the fridge as we had too much to use in just one pudding.  I’ll be in touch again soon.  As Always –

With Love – Jan  xx

Published by Jan

I'm retired, disabled and after sudden death of wonderful husband, have moved closer to my son, daughter-in-law and baby, Charlie. I live in sheltered housing at the bottom end of the scale called Independent Living. I had been in an online Knit and Natter group for a couple of years before Ian died and the members of the group were and still are a wonderful support to me. Since moving here I have now got my own little Facebook group where the members are now my friends and extended family. It was suggested that I write a blog - so here we are!!

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  1. Good afternoon Jan, lovely to talk with you again. I’m bot very encouraged by Head Office dismissing the deaths of three people as an unfortunate accident. It seems that they’re abdicating their duty of care of their residents, and that’s not good enough.
    I’m still worried about Mrs M, I still think that there’s something not right. there, and I think her disorganised knitting is a ploy to distract you. If the text messages were from family and they were worrying her, I’m sure she’d tell you. This is something else. Please be careful, whatcha out for yourself. Don’t be distracted that your home phone is being called, it could be a further ploy to reassure you that you’re safe where you are. Maybe it’s me that paranoid, I hope so. X


    1. Thank you Frances for your comments. I’m not pleased as to Head Office’s remarks – whether they are just attempting to absolve themselves of any responsibility I don’t know. It may be that simple – if they try to convince the authorities that it wasn’t anything to do with them, then perhaps the problems will disappear. Of course, to say that to a police officer was rather short-sighted, and I hope that this may give them a slightly rude awakening. We shall see!! xx


  2. I said in my last comment that I wasn’t entirely happy about Mrs M and were you completely comfortable with her. Even though you are in Scotland you must still be very alert as to what is going on. I find that Head Office’s comment that the three deaths were an ‘unfortunate accident’ very odd. Three people dead at the same time in the same room at a retirement complex that’s a bit more than an ‘unfortunate accident’. Jan, take care. Watch Mrs M carefully. Does she seem relaxed or is she on edge. Roll on the next instalment.


    1. Hi Maggie – I know you aren’t convinced about Mrs. M and haven’t been for some time. At the moment there isn’t anything specific that suggests that she is involved at all. At the moment all I can do is be aware of these possible warning signs and see if anything transpires. She is a bit touchy at the moment, but it may be because I am rather concerned about matters. xx


  3. I’m sorry to say I’m becoming more suspicious of Mrs. M. Her ditsyness may well be a ploy! I wasn’t initially concerned with her other than her penchant for your yarn and shortbread biscuits. Her many texts and seeming worry over them without comment to you, her dear friend, has me wondering all the more! Please don’t let your guared down.


      1. Karen don’t worry about it. You can edit your comment if you spot an error once you’ve sent it. Look at the bottom of your comment and you should be able to see it. xx


    1. Thanks, Karen for your concern. Several of my friends are wondering if Mrs. M is involved in something underhand. At the moment I still think that she is just a little preoccupied with family matters. I may be wrong about her but I will have to wait and see. xx


  4. Oh, I sense Head Office are trying to stage a cover-up and throw the police off the scent! And regarding Mrs M – I think you should just come right out and ask her who’s been texting her…and see what she says – I think you’ll be able to tell if she’s telling you the truth. Oh, and is the title / quote from The Pirates of Penzance or similar? I definitely remember it from school! I think there’s only been one so far that I haven’t recognised.


    1. Well Done Hazel – I wondered if anyone would ever comment about my titles. Yes, it’s from The Pirates of Penzance. I usually aim for a musical heading – occasionally I can’t manage it but I do try to make it work whenever possible. Which one didn’t you recognise? I don’t want to upset Mrs. M if it’s unnecessary, so at the moment I’m just ignoring it and hoping that she will say something when she’s ready. It may have nothing to do with previous events and I don’t want to make life even more complicated at the moment, particularly when there are just the two of us together. xx


    1. Jane – oooohh, controversial!! In all fairness to you, no she hasn’t ever finished anything. Well, not that I’m aware of – although with the number of WIPs I have at present, I really shouldn’t throw stones. Right from the beginning, she got into a mess with her knitting – and then kept asking me for yarn. xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Jane – I must admit that I haven’t seen the yarn again once Mrs. M had managed to persuade me to part with it. Yes, she does love her shortbread biscuits. I do too, but although I prefer home-made to buying them from the shop, it just isn’t possible for me to bake them now. xx

        Liked by 1 person

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